Hi guys

I don’t have any girl friends to turn to in a situation like this. I really need help.

Backstory: my boyfriend suffers from anxiety. I also suffer from depression and anxiety but am medicated, he is not.

His anxiety has been at different levels over the course of our 2 year relationship but overall it’s been manageable. At the moment however, it seems to have gotten to the point where he can’t handle it or the thoughts that come with it anymore.

Specifically, he has a really big problem with the fact that I eat junk food and don’t have a problem with “ruining” my body/health. He has said that he hates having these thoughts and he loves me but that he can’t stop thinking them.

The other day I came home with McDonald’s (a shake and fries, so good after a very stressful day at work) and he got very upset. He went and had a shower and when he came out he said he was going to bed and wanted to sleep alone so he could just have some time to think. I didn’t know what was up and was like okay yes that’s fine. I let him have our bed because it has blockout curtains in the room and he can’t sleep if there’s too much light whereas I can. He took a sleeping tablet and he went to bed. I slept on the couch.

I assumed he was upset by me getting McDonald’s because he has told me previously how he worries for my health and wants to see me eating healthier (I’m not big but I’m definitely not fat and I’m definitely not skinny) but this was a treat that i told him I was getting. He is quite fit and active and doesn’t eat much junk food at all, but it’s just what different people do and like. Anyway I thought it would blow over by morning.

It didn’t. I woke up and chilled on the couch and he woke up around 6.30 and came over and spooned me and we talked. I asked what was wrong and he said that it’s his anxiety that’s making him think bad things about me. Specifically that I had gained quite a bit of weight since we’d started living together, and that has made it harder for him to be attracted to me and have sex with me. Obviously it was the biggest slap in the face ever to hear those words. He was crying the whole time he said it too. He said it was the hardest thing he’s ever said to anyone. He said he doesn’t want to think those things but his anxiety makes him think those things.

I said he needs to speak to a psychologist ASAP and not delay it anymore because he can’t think like that. He’s got an appt booked for next week.

I said I’d support him no matter what with this because he’s obviously not okay.

I’m in two mind sets here. On the one hand, he is my partner who I love so much and he is having problems mentally which is making him think bad things about me which isn’t good.

On the other hand, I am so deeply upset and wounded by his words and that some part of him thinks of me as less worthy or attractive because of my eating and weight. And that makes me so upset because I’ve always had a bit more weight and eaten more than him, it hasn’t changed in 2 years at all.

I just don’t know what to do at all. I want to be supportive but there’s only so much I can take.

Any advice would be great. I just don’t know what to do.