How would you react if your SO did this?
We’ve been together 7 months, will be 8 months the 14th. He is in the army, so he has drill every month. He lives with his nanny and sister. Which I stay the night too when he’s home and wants me to. He has an ex, they’ve been together 6 years in total, and was married. They got a divorce.
When we first got together, she was always around because they still had bills together that they had to spilt. I got over it and just decided not to worry about it.
Then I found out after he gets in a relationship, and breaks up with them, he always goes back to that certain ex. (I have proof of one time he has done this, just not sure about the rest.)
Anyways, the last drill he went to was in January, he came home the Friday night. Had to stay up there Saturday. Sunday he decided to stay with a friend from his unit. I was okay with it bc it’s his choice. I was just confused on why he would drive an hour out of the way, instead of driving an hour back home. Same exact distance. His car at the time was messing up, the breaks and tires. I asked him to come home and go to his friends next drill time so he doesn’t her stranded up there.
He insisted on staying though. He mostly ignored me the whole time. The only time he called me was when he went outside to smoke bc his friend doesn’t like smoking in his house. (Understandable)
Okay. Let’s skip to that Tuesday. (A day after he got home.)
He was getting clothes out of the bag he took with him, and a paper fell out so I just tossed it to the side because I thought it was his drill schedule or his PT calculations. An hour later that same paper is in my way again so I was just gonna toss it. But I unfolded it to see if it was important before I threw it away.
It was a receipt from a hotel, the night he was suppose to be at his friends house. With his ex’s name on it!! I didn’t know what to do or say but he noticed something was wrong and asked what it was. I told him to tell me. He took it looked at it and went out of the room to his Nanny. At first I was just gonna think about it and see possibilities. But I was like how else could this have gotten in his bag if she wasn’t near there. I asked if she was with him at all. He said no. The lie detector (me) determined that was a lie 😂 he then told me, she brought him his laptop to him. Why did she do that? Why couldn’t he have asked me? I have no idea. I asked how he talked to her for her to bring it, he said she was texting him. Another thing, her number his blocked. And there was no messages whatsoever of them talking. So they was deleted. I told him to take me home.
That night his Nanny called his ex and said she’s not allowed to come over or anything since she put that in his bag. Now if she purposely done it, that would make since too. BUT she brought his laptop. Not his bag. And it came out of his bag of clothes which she shouldn’t have had access to.
Further information to help make more sense:
Berea is where his drill thing is
Danville is where is friend is
London is where we are
Richmond is where the hotel was
Richmond and Danville is 2 different places. He was suppose to be in Danville, but the hotel was in Richmond.
I’m not saying he was 100% there. But Danville is farther from home, Richmond is a lot closer. When he texted me saying he was on the way, it only took an hour instead an hour plus if he was in Danville.
I checked his phone history, the same hotel the receipt was at, was in his history along with Red Lobster.
I asked about it he said he was suppose to meet her at the hotel? But he said he had no idea she was at a hotel.
Red Lobster was suppose to be for him and his friend from his unit to eat dinner at. I asked him if I could talk to his friend to confirm if he was with him. His exact words.
“No if you ask him we are for surely done because I don’t want him or anyone from the unit to think I’m a cheater.”
I wasn’t gonna ask anything about his ex. Just gonna ask something like “did you all have a fun time” and see what he said.
I’m not sure what happened that night. It’s been about 20 something days and I’m still keeping my guard up until I find out the truth. For the time being I have myself believing it happened that way if I find it did then I’m prepared.
Today we went out to eat breakfast with my mom and dad. On the way home he got so upset because my ex messaged my dad which I understand. But my dad hates my ex a lot. He ignored him. & he was talking about how I miss him blah blah. And then I just stopped talking and saved my breath bc I hate my ex very much and don’t feel like explaining it to him over and over.
My ex cheated on me a lot, abused me, etc. & Cheated on me with his ex that came to his house to visit his family. (Obvious reason I don’t like my SO ex wife being at his house.)
But he told me I was annoying, and that he hated me during the car ride to his house. He even said “why does it matter who helps me?” Referring to his ex. I didn’t say anything. I just kept quite trying so hard not to cry. I opened the door, and tried to get out but he told me to wait and said he got mad. But I said “cool, I don’t wanna talk right now I wanna think about stuff”
When I cry he says I’m weak, pouty, baby, etc. he’s so different from when we first got together. He’s treating me like how my ex used to..
Would you be upset, how would you react.
Nanny being is grandmother if any confusion!!