Everyone please hear me out. I feel like the most horrible person in the world for doing this but I need to. I've been in a relationship for about a year and a half now and I'm stressing out about if I really belong in this relationship. I just turned 20 in January and me and him have been together since I graduated high school. Like literally right after I graduated we got together. Lately we've been talking more about getting engaged and our future together. I've been the one to bring up getting engaged recently but now the more I think I'm not sure if im in love with him or in love with the idea of being in love. I've never really had the chance to be on my own or experience life by myself or even really learn who I am alone. Theres no doubt in my mind that I love him but am I in love with him? How do I know? I feel like I'm letting life pass me by because I havent experienced so many things. But I'm also worried if I leave this relationship I wont find someone who is really there for me emotionally like he is. I also have a problem being intimate with him. When I was younger I was physically and sexually abused by my dad so I blame me not having sex with him very often on that but I wonder if it's just that I dont want to because I'm not in love with him. Am I a horrible person for wondering if were really meant to be? How do I know if we are supposed to be together? How do I know if I'm really in love with him? Please be nice because I'm having a really hard time with this. Thanks.