I know that this is going to sound weird to say, but I literally feel guilty for being pregnant for the third time and never having had an issue getting pregnant. I see all these moms who post about their rainbow baby and how excited they are, and it kind of makes me feel guilty because I was diagnosed with endometriosis at 11 years old. I was told that I more than likely wouldn’t be able to carry a child, and if I did that I would probably miscarry multiple times. I have been pregnant three times in my life I have been blessed enough to carry to term with my last two, and the way it looks this one should be just fine as well. It’s not to say that I have had problem free pregnancies; with my first child I began bleeding randomly at 20 weeks, I went to the doctor to have an ultrasound and bloodwork done to see what what’s happening. They checked my clotting factors and placenta, as well as the baby. Though, they were never able to locate where the blood was coming from, why it was happening, or what caused it to begin. I carried her until my induction at 42 weeks without any other problems. With my second pregnancy everything was fine until I went to an appointment at 14 weeks, they went to check on everything and got the Doppler to listen to her heart. They called in doctor after doctor with all different Doppler’s and finally a fetoscope. They found her heartbeat but something wasn’t right, they wouldn’t say a word just that I needed to get an ultrasound. The ultrasound technician decided I needed to see a neonatal cardiologist. I saw her weekly, they found that my darling daughter had 3 holes in her heart and the nerve in the middle caused it to beat like a washing machine. I was induced at 39 weeks with life flight on standby just Incase her problems were more than what they had prepared for. Thankfully she was delivered just fine. The holes closed within a few months with the exception of one, which is completely normal.
I guess this turned into a very long tangent, and if you’re still reading thanks! I just wonder if it’s normal to feel guilty for not having issues? And in a way it kind of makes me feel like I can’t relate to a lot of people. No I know that it may sound selfish to be upset by not having any problems, but that’s not the case I know that I am more than blessed to have never had any issues like that. I was just wondering if anyone else feels this way