I CAME OUT TODAY

Welp, it’s a bit embarrassing actually, cause all of my friends knew long before me xDI was... not in a good state at the time. Hating myself, barely surviving, some suicidals thoughts here and there... most of these came from my mythomania issue, so one day I just blew up and told the nearest person the complete, honest truth about how I felt like garbage. Luckily it was a friend, and luckily it got me back on the right path. That’s about when I decided not to lie anymore, especially not to myself, and I allowed myself to question. And those questions were one day blurt out very messily at who was at the time my best friend, questions like « Ain’t it weird? Sometimes I just... think I’m attracted to girls » - I still thought I was a girl at the time - or « I think I had a crush on my first best friend? » All of that in one afternoon. So yeah, kinda blurted it all out, and they helped me put two and two together.A bit later, I just... realized even if I was born a female, I didn’t have to be a girl. And that honestly was the biggest relief I ever felt in my life, so I pretty much immediately went to the exact same person, which had become -and still is - my SO. And their reaction was ... priceless ? « Honey, I knew for a long time that there was something up with your gender. I just wanted you to discover it in your own time »So yeah, I’m a big, clumsy and clueless queer. And my friends have been nothing but supportive ❤️

I told my best friend I had something to tell her so we went to the girls bathroom at school and I had a panic attack and said never mind but then she asked so I just told her and blurted out I was bi. Now about 10 ish people know and it’s nice because m not ready to publicly come out but a good portion of people know

Back in middle school , I remember a conversation I had with a friend where we were talking about weird stuff in shows and I was like “Yeah, it’s weird when they show sexual attraction even though it’s not real” and she just kinda stared at me for a bit. That’s when I found out sexual attraction was a real thing. Cut to a few years later in freshman year where I found out that guys and girls were hot in a “I want to be your permanent roommate/best friend and I want to cuddle up to you while we arch a movie” way. I told this to my now best friend and she just told me “Dude, you’re a bi asexual”. So I didn’t really come out, I just kinda stumbled out in a confused daze after someone accidentally opened the door

I used to be really afraid of sex and sexuality, like I lived my whole life in absolute fear of anything to do with it. When I was a kid I had a crush on a girl but didn’t know it at the time, people used to bully me about it in school for years. That tied with my skin issues and haircut got me pegged as the school’s “lesbian with AIDS”. Nothing like being told by your first guy crush that he, “doesn’t like lesbians with AIDS” what a statement. I used to be super afraid of liking anyone for years and years after that. I liked girls but didn’t know that the emotion I was feeling was actually a crush (I didn’t know it was okay to like girls). I had plenty of crushes on guys who rejected me at every turn. I spent years just so confused about love and who I even was. I was retried if literally everything, I wouldn’t even say the word sex until I was 16. Then I graduated high school, started college, my house burned down and that had me reevaluating my whole life (lmao sorry this story is so long). I realized I didn’t even know who I was and now that everything that made up me was gone, I had to find out who the new me was. I went through a whole period of self discovery and still found myself at a loss. Then one day the thought just popped into my head “maybe you’re bisexual?” And I was just like “what?!”. I did a lot of thinking, and a lot of reading. I found little ways to engage myself into all the parts of life I’d been so afraid of, reading all about the history of sexuality, the science and sociology behind sex, I found ways to integrate topics into my college courses so I could spend time in the library reading up on all sorts of things from gay rights to the taboos of sex in various cultures (I’m a scientist at heart and do best when I study things). Eventually I came into my therapist’s office one day and just sat down and uttered the words, “I think I’m bisexual”. She was overjoyed! I’d never actually said it out loud. I was beyond anxious about sex and sexuality my whole life and here I was accepting it. After my appointment I couldn’t stop smiling for nearly an hour no matter how hard I tried. I probably looked like an absolute freak but I skipped along the downtown sidewalks with the biggest smile on my face, belted out the lyrics to my favorite songs. I never knew how much joy a person could really feel. The next day I came out to my friends and it was just the best feeling. I only had one friend not accept me, she was an ex friend anyway. Only about a month ago I told my younger sister, she always assumed I might be bi apparently. I don’t know if I’ll be able to come out to my parents and step parents ever. That’s been getting me down lately, but still it’s just so great finally accepting something I’ve always feared. In one of my college courses I wrote an essay on my journey and my professor said I should consider getting it published as an Op-Ed or something...I’ve been mulling over whether or not I should publish it without my parents knowing and have them find out when they read it (if it gets published that is, I don’t to be too forward). Goodness this is such a long response. I’m just so happy that you now get to feel accepted too. It’s still rather new for me as well, only about a year now. I’m sure I’m not alone in having fears about this and that in my sexuality and in the world. I’m kinda thinking about writing a book one day for anxious people like me, maybe they can relate to the journey of it all. Congratulations on coming out today!! So proud! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈