The other day I found out that you moved out of the city. At first I was relieved because it means now I'll probably never hear about you or have to deal with you meddling in my life. It means I won't have to hear the ridiculous lies you spread about me. It means after 8 years I can FINALLY stop wondering when you'll grow up and leave me alone...

But for a moment it also made me feel sad. Because it means you're really gone. I always wondered if deep down you missed our friendship. I know that I did... and sometimes do. In the end our relationship was marred with toxicity, but it wasn't always that way. I miss the intense bond we had. You were my best friend. Like the sister I never had.

Despite what you think it hurt me deeply to end our friendship, and because of that I've never gotten as close to anyone as I did to you. Since it ended I'm reluctant to even call anyone my best friend. Nothing compares to the friendship we had and it feels wrong to call anyone else my best friend. I miss that part of you terribly. The part that loved me, but I'm sure that part is long gone.

I almost sent you a message the other day. I wanted to congratulate you on your pregnancy. I wanted to connect with you, but I know better. The truth is we're not meant to be friends again. We've hurt eachother too deeply. I've forgiven you. And I will keep forgiving you. One day I hope you truly forgive me. Right now I know you haven't, and that maybe you never will. I guess that's just how it is.

Best of luck to you and your new family.

Love, T