Paranoid and need to vent


I'm 11 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby and I feel like I'm losing it. I'll go a week or two feeling fine. Happy and excited and then out of nowhere I'll have a nightmare and I'll fixate on it for days. Last night I had a nightmare that I went to my appointment next week and they tell me that they cant find a heartbeat. I hate feeling like this. I just want to be happy about being pregnant. My poor husband tries to comfort me the best he can, but no matter how hard him or I try, I cant shake this anxiety. You'd think that being a high risk pregnancy from a still birth, early miscarriage, and an ectopic the doctors wouldnt have scheduled my appointments a month apart. It doesn't help that my confirmation ultrasound dated me at 8weeks and 1 day but the establishment appointment with my OB scan, a full week later, dated me at 8weeks and 5days. I try so hard not to stress or freak out, but the things that have happened in the past have me terrified.