Hey ladies! (And gentleman)

So there’s this really amazing guy and we’ve been texting back and forth for about two months now. We haven’t gone on a “date” yet or anything romantic but we have hung out one on one at the mall and just to go out to eat for lunch.

We can talk to each other about anything and everything. We joke around with each other and even talk dirty (not really in regards to what we would like to do to the other.. but we do say things like “Come tuck me in 😉” or “Don’t tempt me, I’ll own you”).

So obviously the guy KNOWS that I like him. I’m not pursuing him like that, but it shows through my actions, compliments, and words. He knows that I’m attracted to his mind over his body but I mean he’s fine af too.

Anyway.... last night he told me that he’s heavily guarded. He’s terrified to let his guard down and be vulnerable because his ex-wife (oh, and I’m also divorced so I know where he’s coming from) really did a number on him. He’s deeply hurt and he’s scared of being vulnerable because according to him “that’s when you get hurt”.

Look, I get it. It is scary to put yourself out there and someone can abuse that. I’m not trying and nor will I ever force him to open up before he’s ready. Honestly, I considered just going ahead and dating other men in the meantime but it’s like... I don’t want to ‘cheat’ on the guy I really REALLY like! lol

It took me two years to fully heal from the pain that my ex-husband put me through. He was a serial cheater and I was so gaslighted and blinded by the love that I had for him that I didn’t leave the first time the red flag revealed itself. Now, I’m in a much better place because I let go of the past hurt with love and I feel no anger or ill-feelings towards my ex. In fact, we co-parent beautifully and although he would love to get back with me, I’m not doing that.

I need a responsible, confident, loyal, purposeful, ambitious, self-driven, honest, and honorable man. This guy I met, I’m not even joking, he’s EXACTLY who I’ve been praying for. Everything about him seems so perfect for ME... but he’s guarded.

So he hasn’t exactly friendzoned me because he made it clear that it’s ok that I like him... I would think that if he was uncomfortable with it he would tell me right? Also, I’ve been friends with guys and we don’t talk about sex or the things we like to do because that’s really uncomfortable...

Other things he does: he always texts me when he say he will, he apologizes for late replies, and he’s intuitive about my feelings and actions.

Has anybody else ever been in this situation? Could he possibly be using the ‘guarded’ as an excuse to NOT let me know I’ve been friendzoned?!? He’s complimented me on my looks and my body and he loves the fact that I speak Spanish and I’m feisty. Just looking for advice. Even if it’s just go on over dates and see if he comes around then I’ll do that. No telling how long these “walls” will be up.