My son is a year this week and I can’t help but think about how horrible my labor was. It was 30 hours long. I had a stalled labour. My son and I had a reaction to the pitocin.

The contractions were unbearable when they came. I decided to get an epidural to help the pain and because I wasn’t dilating. I was hoping it would help. It didn’t. I ended up getting a uterine infection because my water broke for so long so the doctor said I had to get an emergency c-section since it could affect the baby.

I almost want to cry sometimes when I think about it all. I know what’s important is he was healthy and so was I but I’m so disappointed. I’m worried I’ll need another c-section next time. I get so sad and angry when I hear about women that had vaginal births. I feel like I did something wrong and it’s my fault somehow.

Anyone else feel upset about their c-sections?