Hi I complain a lot on here about life and stuff but right now I’m losing all trust I have in god. So my grandpa is 74. His birthday was 2 days ago. Anyway, he has had cancer for a year or so, pancreatic cancer to be exact and some may know, pancreatic cancer can be very very fatal- I mean all cancers can be but this one is high- if you’re in the 3rd or 4th stage and yesterday my grandpa got a CT scan and found out his cancer spread to his liver, meaning it’s stage 4 and he isn’t strong enough for chemo but he’s taking it anyway. He has a really bad heart now too- he spent 60+ days in the hospital and rehab last year for cancer problems and he still isn’t really strong- he has a pacemaker. But anyway, the doctor said the Chemo could really hurt him and make him weaker. He also said it has major side effects and if it doesn’t work, he may only have 6 months to a year to live. But my grandpa is the absolutely most stubborn person I have met and he said he’s not going anywhere until my sisters graduation. He’s going to be there. He’s also the strongest person I have ever met, but right now he’s so scared. He told my grandma that he doesn’t want to leave her and he’s scared and worries about who will take care of her. So yeah. I just I’m really sad and worried because this same thing happened to my other grandpa and he died within a Week of getting checked at the doctor- but he also refused chemo- so yeah. I’m trying to stay really strong for him and my family- I’m 13- and I’m the only one staying really strong for all of them. And all of my family tells me it’s okay to cry but I told my mom I can’t because when my grandpa was in the hospital I cried so much because I thought I would loose him, that right now i can’t cry anymore. It’s still sinking in how he can survive war but this dumbass cancer is taking him. I’m gonna miss him so much and trying to stay strong right now really sucks. But I have to stay strong for him. And I’m sorry this was long but I had to rant. So yeah I’m sorry