I’ve been with my man for almost 5 years and we have been through SO many ups and downs. It has been so toxic more times than I can count. We’ve threatened to break up more times than I can count. It’s been emotionally and physically abusive at times. BUT, we’ve had so many sweet moments. All the little things he’s done for me and him truly being my best friend. I’d hang out with him all the time.

Recently things have been going downhill fast. No intimacy, barely any hand holding/kissing, no cuddles, I’ve cried myself to sleep right next to him. One of my best friends from college who is in the military talks to me all the time. I’ve been talking to him about all of a this & honestly he’s been so sweet. He’s been reassuring and caring...something I haven’t felt in a while. Recently he told me that he’s liked me for all these years and that if he’d ever get the chance he’d love to take care of me. It made me not lose all the hope in the world. Yesterday for Valentine’s Day, my bf didn’t buy me flowers and I didn’t want to go out. Instead, my friend had flowers delivered to me because he said I deserve them.

I already feel like my relationship with my bf is coming to an end but for some reason I don’t want to let go. I’m scared. I’m scared I’m going to regret letting go. I’m scared to see him with someone else. I’m scared for the future. But at the same time I know I deserve better and I deserve to be appreciated. I talked to my bf today and we both agreed we should take a long break. We’ve taken short breaks before, but this time I honestly need a long break so we can both focus on US first. I think that IF we do continue with us after this long break, we need to take this time to be happy with ourselves first so we are no longer toxic with each other. However on the other hand, maybe it won’t work out? My friend is honestly so sweet and its something that I may want...but idk what to do?