Tough love needed??? Advice welcome.

I guess you could say we both plunged head first into this relationship. He is a divorced full time dad & we shared mutual acquaintances. Four months into our relationship, we got pregnant and moved in together. We both agreed it wasn’t the right time. Our careers are both thriving. The relationship and careers seemed to thrive despite a few concerns with aspects of his parenting approach & lack of concern when I felt his input was needed. Due to poor working conditions I took a leave of absence for medical treatment partially due to his encouragement. He gets stressed a lot from taking care of his responsibilities with his parents and leans on me for support in the immediate household.

However busy & challenging life managed to be, I was raised in a multigenerational household where we all contributed to maintaining a cozy, organized, tidy home and took advantage of any opportunity for quality time.

He was raised by very prideful, narcissistic people who fight all the time & afforded him a privileged way of life that creates tension and makes any given conversation immediately hostile when I ask for any type of support or assistance in family matters and concerns.

He thinks I am too optimistic, altruistic & needy in many ways. I have been accused of not putting enough effort into parenting while we both work multiple jobs and planned to purchase a home.

I became frustrated after being disrespected by him along with his entire family multiple times over the past year. I got into a car accident where my vehicle was totaled by an irresponsible driver. I moved out when we

kept getting into arguments and being berated about his constant dissatisfaction with me taking care of the household and balancing my jobs since the accident while I am still waiting for approval for medical treatment.

After a week of limited contact I accepted his offers to take me to work. I decided to join my coworkers for a drink after our shift and didn’t immediately respond to his calls and texts inquiring if I got home safely. I came home to find that he had jumped the fence in my yard, looking for me.

When I called him, he was incredibly upset accused me of lying to him, being secretive & unfaithful. He returned to my home shortly after and became more aggressive.

He pushed, shoved me with his shoulders and arms, prevented me from leaving my home or walking away from him. He called me a slut, smashed a potted plant and left. I was unable to sleep, eat or relax. I had never seen this side of him before that night. Needless to say my family and friends are concerned for my safety and want me to file a report and get a restraining order.

I initially blocked him, but he showed up to my office after I took a personal day and refused to leave for an hour. He proceeded to call a friend and threaten to continue to show up at my office, home, etc., until I returned his call. Despite numerous concerns by my family, friends and colleagues I have spoken to him and agreed to meet in a public place to have a conversation.

I still love him but I can’t help but feel like I should heed the warnings and end the relationship. As much as I want to forgive him, I can’t ignore the fact that he has crossed a line and I honestly don’t know how and if we can survive this.

If you’ve made it this far, as the title says I am in need of advice. I’d appreciate your advice.