So when I was 17 I decided to go vegan after being vegetarian for a year. I love animals do much and my doctor said eating dairy was only hurting my body. So it was an easy decision to make. For a good 3-4 years I did absolutely fantastic. I never budged. You couldn't get me to eat a Hershey's Kiss.

Fast forward to my mom getting sick when I was 20. We started needing help because we were so busy taking care of her. People would bring us cookies and chips and whatever else they thought we would like to eat. I was so stressed I started grabbing things here and there just because the rest of my family were.

After mom passed I was obviously in the pits so I didn't try to fix the damage I had done to myself. I was eating any dessert people offered me just because I hated life so much.

A year went on and I worked on healing. I started eating better again and trying to snuff out any dairy I was consuming. I was feeling okay.

Then I started dating my now husband. I was so twitterpated I was nibbling on things again when he offered. Cookies, brownies, donuts, candy, and anything else he would snack on. I got used to just eating when people offered again and then I started craving it when nobody was around.

Now I've been married for a little over 6 months and my eating is completely awful. I eat dairy garbage all the time. Not cheese. Just dessert. But it's still way too much. If I'm upset I eat donuts. If I'm happy I eat whatever cookies or candy he's eating. When we go out I get this dumb mentality that I want to not stress about it.

I feel like an awful person. I went vegan because I care about animals and my health relies on it. But I'm so weak and pathetic now. I don't even want to be labeled vegan anymore because I know I'm technically not.

I want to be good so bad. I want to be the person that puts animals lives above my desires in a moment of weakness. I want to be healthy. And I just can't get back to it. I'm kicking myself every night for what I eat. I just don't know what to do anymore.

I feel like a hypocritical monster. And an unhealthy one at that.