Trigger warning: Abusive Relationship

I’m in a really abusive relationship at the moment, he chokes me, hits me, shoves me into walls, kicks me and throws things at me, just 2 days ago he kicked. me in the stomach (after telling him I was 2 weeks late for my period)

He is also very mentally abusive saying things like “I will go find someone better” “you’re a worthless fat c**t” and many more horrible things I can’t even type without bringing back the memories of it.

When we first started dating it wasn’t like this. I’m scared as hell and for some reason I’m still so in love with him, I think I’m holding on to the old him I met when we first started dating.

I know I need to leave but for some reason I can’t leave.

He has cut me off from all my Friends and I need help to be strong.

There are also so many good moments which is why I’m confused, like sometimes I will catch him staring at me and smiling and I ask him what he’s smiling about and he will say “I can’t believe I have found someone as beautiful as you” and he does cute things for me like get me flowers and massage me when I’m sore and hold me when I’m sad.

I’m so in love with him but he’s slowly killing me, I don’t even recognise myself in the mirror anymore.

Anyone out there been in a similar situations please message me 😭😭