Today, I was sitting in the Dunkin donuts drive thru and when I looked in my review mirror, my blood began to boil. The girl who aided in my fiances cheating pulled up behind me.

Multiple thoughts went through my head as I still hold a lot of anger and hostility. I wanted to throw my car into reverse and slam her. I wanted to flip her off, scream or smack her across the face.

But honestly, what good would that do? I'm sure she has no cares in the world. She wasn't remorseful when she helped break up my family. (By no means am I placing all the blame on her. She knew what she was doing. She knew I was in the picture and we were expecting a child. But she pursued my fiance either way. And hes just as guilty for giving in. But I still hold lots of anger over it all.)

Anyways, so I'm sitting their, face hot and red, white knuckled squeezing my steering wheel. And you want to know what I chose to do? I paid for her coffee. In that moment I chose to let it all go. Let the anger, hostility, irrational thoughts of revenge, just let it all go. In the end it was only making me mean and bitter and that's not who I am and not how I want to live my life.

So to you, the homewrecker, I hope you enjoy your coffee today as from here on out, I'm going to live my life peacefully and happy for what I have. A home, a beautiful child, family and now inner peace.

Update:

For those wondering if I'm still with him. We had broken up for a year. In that time we both did individual therapy and then also worked on us. I had and have every intention of marrying this man. During the time apart we both grew as people and did some soul searching. It took a long time to gain back any sort of trust. He did not cheat on me physically but he did cheat on me emotionally and that's just as psychologically damaging. As of today we are both better people individually and stronger as a couple. I will not make any sort of excuses for his actions, and he knows what he did was wrong. I told him before we decided to get back together that I would not be with someone if I have to wonder who they're texting or driving by his work to make sure that's where he really was. This man put in lots of hard work and tireless attempts to make me trust him again. He did anything and everything I asked of him, one being that he seeked therapy to work on some inner demons that he had. I dont regret my decision for making it work with him. We are happy, we are engaged and are planning for a wedding for next year.

And for those wondering what the point of buying the coffee was. I chose to buy her coffee because of all the negative actions I wanted to take against her, I chose to do a positive one instead. That was the first change of me letting go the hatred and anger. In therapy I was taught that when you want to act in a poor, negative way, you should try to do the opposite and thats just what I did. I felt relief after doing so as I felt like it took the weight of all the hostility off of me and allowed me to start thinking more positively. Some times the hardest things we go through only makes us stronger and in a way, I feel that's what happened here. I dont expect everyone to understand why I did what I did and chose to do what I did, but that's okay. It worked for me and that's all that matters 😌

To those saying I have no right to be mad at her because she didnt have a commitment to me. You are absolutely right, she had no commitments or obligations. But I do still have a right to be mad and upset. It's as if someone walks over to you while you're eating and plops down and starts eating your food while staring you in the face. (Probably a poor example but thats what came to mind at first.) I am in no way justifying his cheating! Trust me, I was mad, hurt, and torn up over what happened with him. However, we worked on it continuously together and apart to get to where we are now. I never gave myself the time or chance to fully move on from her actions as well. Which you still may not see as reasonable because as you say, she had no obligations to me. Which is true but you would hope she could at least be a decent human being. The least she could have done was send me a message letting me know she had intentions of taking my place. In the long run, there's no justification for his actions. How ever there is also no justifying a woman who helps a man cheat.

Update 2:

Thank you all for the feedback, both good and bad. I don't expect everyone to agree with the way I chose to handle the situation, whether it was buying the coffee or eventually getting back together with him. It was a long hard road for the both of us. Copious amounts of therapy, tears and communication has gotten us to where we are today and we are both very happy and better people today because of it! If choosing to try and stay with a man who has wronged you doesnt work for you then that's okay! I was fully prepared to be a single parent if I didn't really see any changes in him and between the both of us. We both gave it our all to mend our broken relationship so we could be together and our child could have both his parents under the same roof. Our relationship has truly flourished and where this doesnt work for some people it truly worked for us. Everyone has their own opinion and perspective and thats okay. All I know is today I am happy, I am loved and I am at peace. 💕

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