I’ve been having a really rough time recently and it doesn’t seem to be getting too much better.

One thing I was upset about was the guy I ‘loved’ and I were done, while we were talking on Dec, 24th he ended up getting a blowjob from my best friend. I ended up forgiving him in the end thinking he deserved a second chance.

Then not too long ago he said we needed a break then three days later he said we needed to end and I was fine with it because I wanted to end it but I didn’t have the courage to do it.

So he said he loved me and honestly I was thinking ‘you know maybe if it’s meant to be it will happen’. It barely happened two weeks ago and his friend said he tried getting back with his ex.

I realized he ended up just wanting one thing and he got it from me, I made a mistake and he was my first love but I do realize I deserve so much better than him. He lost someone who was there for him and I just lost someone who wasn’t as committed to me as I was to them.