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See if there are story times at your local library. They often do them even for very little kids (good for moms to meet up). Also look into mom programs at church, if that’s your thing. La Leche League can be good to meet people if you’re BF. Go walk in local parks.It’s so tough, I feel for you. Try to get out of the house and socialize, that seemed to help me a lot.
I need your help!! Ways to combat postpartum depression/anxiety as a SAHM?!
Hello!! I writing this in hope of getting a little advice from you lovely ladies! Let me start by saying that I AM talking to a doctor about this but I refuse to take medication. I am looking for ways to improve my mood and overall quality of life.
♥️I KNOW THIS IS LONG BUT PLEASEEE READ!!! ♥️🤞
As a backstory, I am 26 and have a beautiful baby boy that just turned 1 on February 7th. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me (and his daddy of course) around 5 months postpartum my anxiety started getting really severe, right around the time I returned to work. As soon as i found out I was pregnant I began having anxiety, it was always manageable though. When he was born it intensified but for a while I thought it was just normal. When I returned to work at 3 months PP, it started getting a out of hand. I would call/text my bf multiple times an hour to check in on him. If he didn’t answer I would start shaking and crying uncontrollably, I was convinced my son was dying. I would leave work to check on them often since it was a 5 min drive. I would freak out!! Every second of my shift I was worried about my son. I began to have anxiety about other things too, which is deff not like me at all. It drove me crazy. Fast forward to 8 months PP, I quit my job of 8 years as a manager, because it was all too much. On top of the severe anxiety and worrying, I would get 2 hours of sleep a day. My son didn’t fall asleep until 5-7 in the morning and I’d get up at 8am to go to work. My shift ended at 5pm, as soon as I walked in the door my bf had to leave for work. He works 5pm-5am. Of course I would have my son the entire time. When my bf got home he’d go to sleep and I’d go to sleep around 6-7am when my son finally fell asleep. It was just too much to handle. Once I quit my job, things started to improve.
It wasn’t too long after that I started battling depression. I started to feel worthless, inadequate and ugly. I hated not working to support my family, I’ve always worked for everything that I had. I’d convinced myself that my bf was falling out of love with me, started becoming obsessed with searching through his phone. That’s not like me at all, I’ve always trusted my bf and he’s never given me a reason not to. I felt like I was ugly and gross and he couldn’t possibly love me still. He’s been very patient and understanding about the whole thing. He tells me every day that he loves me more than ever, that I’m more attractive to him than ever since we had our son. He treats me amazing, he always has. He’s amazing to me!
I understand now that I am putting these things in my head and have decided to focus on my mental health. As of now, I don’t ever do anything. I stay home all day because I’m scared to drive in the car with my son. I don’t go out, I don’t have any visitors, nothing. I just stay home all day, cook, clean and watch my son (which I lovee, I’m so blessed to be able to spend every day with my son) I truly believe that being cooped up in the house all day with nothing new and exciting to do is contributing to my depression. It’s winter where I live so I can’t just go to the park or have time outside much.
Anyone have any ideas on things I can do to help with my depression? I have been trying to think of ways that I can contribute more. I’ve been taking control of the bills and making sure all of those kinds of things are taken care of so my bf doesn’t have to. I am trying to be more organized and think of more crafty ideas to help teach my son. We’ve been doing more activities and we are currently teaching him letters and colors. He’s getting very good at using sign language and trying to talk now too. What do some of you ladies do as a SAHM so you don’t go crazy in the house all day? Are their certain routines you do? Activities with your child? Things to do to get out of the house? I’m open to any ideas!
Thank you so much!
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La
Thank you! I will deff loom into my local libraries to see what they offer! Unfortunately, I’ve always had extremely low milk supply since my son was born, I barley produced anything for him but still breastfed until 8 months, of course he was mainly formula but he liked to breastfeed for comfort and I enjoyed the bond so we stuck with it until I was only producing about an ounce a day. I never pumped more than 5oz a day. Thanks so much for your response! I appreciate your help! ♥️
You seem very strong and determined to find help. I really believe you can work on and work past your health issues. Your BF also seems supportive which is key to being able to work on yourself. When it's cold and I don't feel like going anywhere I pin or take screenshots of crafts and activities (from Pinterest/Facebook) to do with my daughter. You might consider making a schedule of things like that so you can keep yourself occupied and have things to look forward to. In a month or two it should start to warm up (guessing, not sure where you are) and you'll be able to go for walks until you're comfortable driving. I did not have PPD but I have noticed greater mental clarity and calmness since changing my diet to reduce carbs (no dough, pasta, juice, sugar, etc.). When I started feeling unhappy and my confidence waned I made a conscious decision to watch my diet and lose weight and that has helped me.I also saw this link online and it seems to have helpful suggestions for PPD? These may work depending on your situation, intensity, etc. https://www.euphoricherbals.com/blogs/news/11-natural-solutions-for-postpartum-depressionI have an advanced degree, and I am a former corporate employee. I've been home with my daughter for 2 years now and there are days I think about what I have put on hold. But my daughter is an incredibly beautiful soul and amazingly smart, and I know being home with her has helped mold her into who she is becoming. You might be working on yourself right now, but you should also be proud of what you are doing for your son.Be sure to take care of yourself! You can do it Mama!
Na
You're welcome, and thank you for sharing too! It's a struggle, but I try to remember that goals change. I achieved that and now I'm working on her. I see you mentioned Upwork in another comment which I think is great. I have done similar online work that have assessments and look forward to passing them. It might seem silly but these "smaller wins" sometimes give me a mental boost (for the while, at least 😊)
Na
You are very welcome. I have definitely cried in front of my daughter before. I don't think it's particularly bad because they need to know it is okay to experience these different emotions too. I always give her a small reason for me being sad (even when she was smaller) and tell her something that would help me feel better after (e.g. a hug, a snack...)
Al
Thank you for sharing this link and about your career. It’s really hard for me now that I’m unemployed, i feel like I got my masters for no reason. I love being at home with my little angel but I also feel like my brain is turning to mush sometimes.
I know exactly how you feel with the anxiety and the depression. Oddly enough being a SAHM kicked my depression and helped with my anxiety. My new anxiety ja trying to feel like I accomplished something today to feel worthy of being a SAHM. What has helped me is I started a garden. Sounds crazy I knows. I new have a veggie garden with 15 different plants growing and a flower garden I just planted in the front yard. It has honestly helped calm me down. I paint or draw to help zone me out when my son is napping to give me some wind down time. Good luck mama!!
La
Awe I’m so glad you found a great outlet to calm yourself! That sounds amazing, I do NOT have a green thumb at all though! Haha! I’ve tried to own like 3 diff plants and they always die so quickly :( I deff should find a hobby like that though! Thanks so much for the advice! I’m glad you found something great that is helping you feel happier :) ♥️
I’ve been pretty depressed since I was pregnant. I had always struggled with depression before but we moved when I was 3 months pregnant and once I had our baby I’m just at home all day with no schedule really. I don’t know anyone here so no one can help out ever. I was looking for work thru my whole pregnancy and finally got hired but then they laid me off while I was on maternity leave. I hate not having an income, but I’ve been doing some projects on Upwork. It’s a freelance site so I can take projects when I have time. It’s not a lot of money usually but it does help me feel like I’m contributing and worth more than just being at home. I also recently started taking my baby to baby yoga and it’s sooo fun! We go once a week so it’s something to look forward to and then each day we try to do the exercises and she giggles the whole time. She actually seems to enjoy doing them with me at home more than going which makes me feel special.
Al
It’s reeeeeally fun. You learn all kinds of moves to do with them to help them learn about their bodies and like hand/eye coordination. My teacher also shows us positionsto put them in to get them to start thinking about rolling over and crawling. Definitely check it out! Mine is even covered under my HSA.
La
Aweee baby yoga?!? That’s so cute!! I will deff have to look into that!! Thanks so much for your response! I am hoping that you start feeling better and better! It’s deff a tough thing to go through! Stay positive and thanks for your help!
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