So, I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to explain this the best I can...

I want to be in more than one relationship.

I am happily engaged to my fiance and am happy with where we are now, but for some reason I keep thinking about being with another guy too. I do not want to hurt my fiancé or break up because I love him, and he is enough for me. He makes me insanely happy and we very rarely argue.

Why am I thinking this?

We are both virgins, saving sex for when we get a place together. I do not want to have sex with other men, but (if it makes sense) experience sexualish thing with them.

I was my fiance's first real girlfriend, his first kiss, everything. He means the world to me, but yet I still think about experiencing the same thing with the other guy too. It sounds whorish, but I want to show him how to love, not out of pity, but because I oddly crave it. I crave showing someone how to do things, and I crave turning someone on while doing so. It's almost overbearing.

This doesn't make sense to me, and makes me feel terrible for wanting to be with more than one person, but I've thought about this for a while. I know he wouldn't be okay with it, as I wouldn't either. And I know it makes me a horrible person for wanting more when I get everything I could ever want, but I don't know what to do.

I'm sorry that that was so long, and sorry if I made anyone angry. I just needed to tell someone how I feel.

Thank you for reading.