Every time I see that one scene of the Fresh prince of bel air. The scene where his dad walks out on him for the last time and he cries and asks why he don’t want him. I can relate so much. Just the other day I had a lead on my “father” which I dint ask for. I told my mom. She said you are more than free to go look for him. That’s when I told her No! That man has never been there for me. Has never given me a chance. I’ve had 30 of the most precious birthdays with out him. He has missed so much of my life. My quince/ sweet 16 my wedding and most important my children’s births and all the love I could have given him. He has also missed out on the bad parts of my life. Now those parts I wish he would have seen. I wish he would have seen the struggles my mother and I had to go through. The times we had no food or money because my aunt stole my moms hard earned money and kicked us out leaving us homeless. Or the time I almost got raped because my momma was always working just to keep us a live. Or when my mother begged me not to die as she held my son because my weak heart gave out in the operating table. Mad respect for my mother for having to experience that and still be the strong woman and most wonderful mother in this world. Sorry momma for having you gone threw that. Yet Everyone tells me go and look for him. Nope he don’t deserve my love or my children’s love. I’ll let him be. Pretty sure he has a life of his own and I hope his well. As for me I’ll continue to share my love with my kids, husband and my family. Forgiving is one thing forgetting is another.