We can’t help where my husbands job takes him. We’ve never lived close to family. We’ve been here nearly 2 years. It’s the closest to family we’ve lived our whole marriage. 2 and half hours away from my family.

My kids love my mom. They are great with her. She is the kinda grandma who is fun but 95% of the time she follows our routines and rules and keeps them scheduled. Bonus is they are comfortable around her. She’s just so far. But it beats the 13 hours like before.

I’m pregnant. I’m tired. Okay I’m exhausted. My little one is always ill. He’s been sick for months. And off and on for his whole 1 year of life. My mom came recently so I could drive him across the state to see a specialist. We will have several more specialists appointments and surgery...in another state. My oldest is in preschool. He’s got a cold now too. He doesn’t slow down. Just gets meaner and uglier.

My husband just found out the reason he’s tired, quick tempered, and has zero interest in intimacy is because he has an underlying condition. (It’s been really hard because he’s never interested in sex and he’s never feeling energized no matter how much sleep he gets.) We are trying to get his levels balanced because his body doesn’t produce what he needs. I’m thankful we now know. It’s not his fault. And the doctors are hopeful it can be treated with some new supplements and meds. He’s been dealing with this for a while. I’m so hopeful I’ll have the man I married back.

He also happens to be in ministry. He takes care of a lot of people and we work in the inner city help children and teens who are underprivileged.

Me? I’m fine. But I am in my 3rd trimester. I feel like a beached whale. And I’m tired all the time. Especially not able to sleep.

And yesterday, a friend and man in our church passed away suddenly. We will be doing the funeral all weekend. My mom is gonna come

Back and help with the kids.

We don’t live in a place where a sitter is really possible. I don’t even have people in our church I trust or are able and willing to watch the kids for very long. I’m the youngest adult. With the youngest kids. I love our church. But I’m tired.

I wish my mom could babysit when it isn’t an emergency. I was hoping she’d come today. Before the funeral. So maybe. Just maybe I could catch a nap or take a long shower and fix my greasy hair that needs a good wash. Watch the kids long enough I could shower in peace. Or sleep. This baby is big. He’s heavy. He’s low. My back hurts. Is it time to give birth yet?

I’m thankful for the help in the midst of a long weekend doing funerals and such. I just wish I could have someone give me a break in the tiny town without their being an emergency or a doctor visit or sickness. Honestly the only time I have to myself is in the OBs office. They that isn’t exactly relaxing.

I’m trying to be a good mom and wife and pastors wife. I just wish someone would look at me and minister to me for a minute. I’m so depleted giving everything.