I just broke up with my boyfriend who I love very much but it is very mentally and verbally abusive in the past and yes it slowly gets better but he cheated and was really attacking me and yelling at me. He has very much paranoia and I can’t deal with it anymore so after I found him on tinder again even though he only messaged a girl saying hey and then deleted it cause he was like wtf and I doing I just gave up and needed a break. But he broke us up because he knows this. And it hurts so much. I just feel like this is wrong. Like why do I love someone this much but cannot be with them?