Before you read this keep in mind that I’m a dramatic person, I have always been, and everyone that knows me knows this. So my husband and I have been together for almost 8 years, and married for 3 years. We have two kids together, a 2 year old and 4 month old. He’s been lying to me off and on for about 6 years. Since we have gotten married he has been on dating sites(he claims to look at porn), lies to me, and most recently hid the fact that he was talking to a coworker. We work at the same place, but she doesn’t work there anymore. He had her (I’ll call her S) number and another females number(I’ll call her J) saved in his phone as a males contact number from work. So I was recently hospitalized for a suicide attempt(got diagnosed with ptsd, psychosis, and depression), and while I was in there S knew I was in there(because she asked how I was doing)and after she learned that she took it upon herself to tell my husband that she liked him and sent my husband her nasty ass boobs and accidentally sent him a dick pic and said that the picture was not meant for him... so idk if she’s a female or not. He did not end the conversation or stop talking to her at all. But my husband fabricated this extremely detailed lie that he was talking to a male that was in the process or turning into a female... so supposedly S is in process of a transition and J is his wife. I called J and she doesn’t answer. in fact the male has a wife with a completely different name. Then I realized who J is, and that he was googling her a few months back....

Soo maybe he forgot that we all worked together? But the male that he was lying on is still in fact a male... and recovering from a kidney transplant. I’m very upset that he involved him in his lie. By the way my husband not once came forward and told me the truth. I found out the truth by looking for it, which wasn’t hard because men are stupid. So S is not a man, and J is not anyone’s wife. S and J are engaged which he claims he didn’t know that they were lesbians or bi. Sooo I’m mad at my husband because he has lied!! He says that he lied because he did something that he knew I wouldn’t like( which was literally talking to S 24/7 and hiding it from me). I have no problem with him having female friends, but he knows that I expect honesty. So once I found out the truth I tried to commit suicide again and took around 7500mg of Zoloft and was basically dead.

He threatened to call an ambulance and I don’t want to be hospitalized so I vomited for about 30 minutes straight and was basically lethargic. I ended up in fetal position in a cold shower for about 3 hours. I had to eat in there and couldn’t digest any food... I thought I was dead. So my husband keeps apologizing and telling me that he’s sorry and I’m not buying it because actions speak louder than words. He always apologizes after he gets caught.

So here I am after crying and arguing for 4 days straight. I am defeated and have absolutely no trust for him. He wants to go to marriage counseling and I’m like you know lying would hurt me and you still did it... so now I have no idea what to do. I have been going to a therapist weekly for almost 2 months now, and I told him he needs to see one separately before I even consider marriage counseling because I don’t think lying like that is normal. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting, but I want nothing to do with his ass anymore. I feel like I can’t be the best me with his lies.... and I’m petty as hell so I was trolling S hard af. She got scared and threatened to call the police on me(here say), my husband claims. She did not tell me to stop contacting her at all, but I told her ass I’m crazy and the police is literally the least of my worries since I feel like I had nothing to lose at that point because I was straight suicidal. So then J tells my husband that I need to leave them alone, so I told her that if she has something to say to me then say that shit....

No response.... so both of them are scared of me now and all I asked for was an apology for being disrespectful and sending my husband pictures when she knew he has a wife and kids.... so I’m done now. I’ve decided to work on me and that I need to be here for my kids. My husband wants us to work but his ass is grass in my eyes. Should I go to marriage counseling? I don’t know when he’s lying or telling the truth.