My son is two months old and I go back to work in one month. Right now I’m lucky to get 3 hours of broken up sleep a night. He used to give us a 4-5 hour stretch and wake up 2-3 times after the first wake up but for the last two weeks he has been sleeping 2 hours and then he’s up every hour. We’ve been giving a pumped bottle for the nighttime feed since 3 weeks.

I started developing a terrible breastfeeding aversion at night because I was so exhausted. My skin would crawl and I was so miserable. I started bottle feeding and pumping throughout the night for the last week but all it has done is give me less sleep.

I also started bottle feeding at night because he would fall asleep while breastfeeding and I thought he wasn’t getting a full feed. But now I think it’s just him. He eats every 1-1.5 hours throughout the day as well. I would be concerned he’s not getting enough but his weight gain is great- he gains 14-16 ounces a week and is in the 80th percentile for height and weight.

Our pediatrician told us to consider using formula at night and my husband is so eager to try it but is respectful of my wish to only feed him breastmilk. Every time I think about supplementing with formula I get so emotional and feel guilty. I had no qualms about using formula if my supply wasn’t there but I make plenty of milk. I know that formula might not work but I’m afraid if it does give him and us more uninterrupted hours of sleep then we’ll be giving him formula for selfish reasons. I know that functioning parents are good parents but I still feel terrible about it.

I guess I just need some support from some fellow moms. All of my mom friends who have supplemented with formula have done so because of supply not for more sleep. I just feel so desperate and know this won’t be sustainable when I’m back at work.

Also, yes we swaddle him and have a bedtime routine. He does not have day/night confusion. He naps 15-45 minutes in his rock n play and sleeps anytime he’s in the car/stroller (we try to limit that to 2 hrs max per outing, but hitting that 2 hrs is very rare). Figured I’d throw that in because a lot of people ask those questions whenever we mention he’s not sleeping.