Relationship advice needed!
Sorry in advance that this is a long post. No idea what to do anymore...
My boyfriend is a serious gamer... He comes home from work and the first thing he does is turn on his pc and the ps4. Both of them are in the livi groom and not only does he use the main TV in the living room, he also has 2 other screens set up on the livingroom table with wires running across the middle of the room.
the first thing he does when he comes home is turn the pc and ps4 on and he will put his headset on and game all evening until bed time (which could be anytime from midnight until after 4am) he will play it until he's so tired he gets into bed and falls asleep instantly. He doesn't even turn it off to eat dinner. And then he will also leave his dishes lying on the table until I lift them away (usually the next morning because if I walk I front of the TV screen to get them he complains). I do ALL the housework all the laundry (which gets thrown in piles around our apartment never in the laundry basket). Even on the weekends he wakes up in the morning turns the PC and PlayStation in and is there all day until after 3 or 4am.
We have a 13 week old baby now and it is still the same I do all the housework and cleaning ect and look after the baby all day as I'm on maternity leave (where I am we get paid maternity for a year). All through the pregnancy he also didn't help with any housework. He will maybe look after the baby for a few minutes at a time (so I can cook dinner) and by looking after him he just sets the ba y on his knee while he continues to play on his games.
Through one of his games he takes parts in tournaments and then we travel around the country (on weekends) so he can play his game. These usually take part in a shopping center lobby so I get to sit in the shopping center bored out of my mind for hours and hours while he plays his game. I can't even go shopping because I spend 80% of my money every month on the rent/bills + I buy ALL the groceries for us every month. Leaving me with 20% of my pay to use towards my own bills (phone Netflix, amazon prime) then whatever is left is for nappies I'm in - by the end of the month every month I can't even buy 1 t-shirt for myself. So it's not like he's the only one earning money to pay the bills. He makes more money than I do too yet I still buy ALL the food for us. He will happily spend money on his games (a week or so ago he spent over 100 on fake in game money) it's his money to spend yes but its a little unfair I can't spend my own money to buy something because I spend it all on rent bills and food...
Not only do I get to sit around bored all day or walk in circles around the shopping center, he has the most awful attitude during the entire trip. He can't make anything be even a little bit fun, everything is always super serious and he will shout at me and constantly complain about everything.
Today was another of those but at least the tournament was in our city. He expected us to leave by 10am he got up and as usual sat on his pc all morning. Then complained I wasn't getting ready fast enough when he could help by getting the ba y ready or doing something productive other than sitting on the pc. He then continues to complain and shout and keep watching on his watch every few minutes to really emphasise we are a whole 8 minutes late to leave the apartment... The shopping center is 15 mins away and his game starts at 11.
So then he complains because he wanted to walk there rather then getting the bus or the metro train. By walking its around an hour to get there. So then he starts trying to walk as fast as he can. Calls me unsupportive and says that this walk to the center to sit around while he plays a game is "family time". He shouts and yells at me in the street in both English and then his native language German too. He calls me unsupportive and that I'm "throwing stones in his path" and calling me a bitch ect. He then claims he pays for all of these trips (untrue and I have the bank statements for the multiple hotels ect I have paid for, for his trips). I decided that I wasn't going to be called a bitch and be shouted at in the street for the next hour walking so turned around and went home.
It is extremely rare that we do go out and do something really together. Unless it involves the ps4 games. I personally don't see this as "family" time. A week ago I suggested we take the baby to the swimming pool. He agreed to it but stayed up so late the night before he wouldn't get up the next morning so we didn't go and he said we could do it the next day. He then again stayed up even later on his game so again he wouldn't get up the next day.
I have no idea how to handle this later as he will come home and complain and be in a bad mood all day when he doesn't win his game. He will start with the I'm not supportive stuff again too. Yet I have come with him all over the country even while really pregnant (just one week before birth I sat in a tournament with him). His best friend didn't turn up to watch him play today as he's since text me to say that. I've not even replied. He also showed me pictures of a kids play area right next to where he's gaming but our little one is only 13 weeks old.
Let's Glow!
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.