I woke up today feeling like it’s never going to happen. TTC 13 months now and I don’t have the right kind of health insurance to be able to seek <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">fertility treatment</a>. (My DH and I both run our own businesses and pay for private health coverage out of pocket, in the state of California there is no private coverage for fertility) Leaving us with having to pay outside our insurance out of pocket no matter what. After researching costs I feel so discouraged about our timeline of being able to pay out of pocket for answers and treatment.

Today I am 10dpo and feeling nothing, which could just mean I’m out again. I so so badly just want to feel so nauseous that I just know we finally are going to have the family we’ve been wanting for years.

I feel like we’ve done everything, we’ve cleaned up our diet, cut caffeine and alcohol, we do meditation and take all the vitamins, tracked ovulation and didn’t track at all. Now I feel like time is against us and we are just getting older.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel more optimistic, but today I’m just hurting.