1st of January... I was excited for a new year. Why you may ask?

Oct. 2018 my great uncle who I absolutely adored passed away. He had been battling cancer and had got to the point he was tired of the pain... The week before My uncle had shot himself. He was aiming for the heart and his wife found him an grabbed the gun at the last second. The bullet landed under his arm. There wasn't much they could do. So we tried to spend as much time with him as we could till he left...

Dec. 2018 my hero, my papaw passed away. Natural causes but he was famous. He was amazing. An I will forever miss him...

Christmas. My brother announced his girlfriend is pregnant then my sister in law, her sister, 2 of my friends, my brothers baby momma, 2 cousins an my step sister. All pregnant...

That was between Christmas an the first. On the 5th I learned I was expecting...

These lines have faded a little bit but... What a happy time in a bunch of craziness right? Me An my husband was over the moon... Me an my sister in law was planning joint gender reveal an baby showers.

Within a week I miscarried...

Ive been grieving... And im so happy everyone elses unborn babies are thriving... Im typically an optimistic person. But right now its hard... We are packing to move an I found the tests... Not able to throw them away... I just stared at them thinking...

This post is kind of all over the place but i wanted to take a moment to get it off my chest... I dont want to post on facebook because of how happy everyone else is an you always get the bs along with it.

So here's some things to remember.

1. You never know what someones going through or have been through so be kind.

2. Just because some one is sad about something doesnt mean they arent happy for you.

3. Pregnancy is NOT AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE. It's not a joke of any kind.

4. Dont take anything for granted.

5. If you know of someone who needs help. Be there. If its mental illness. Try to get them to go get help. Theres a lot of crappy people in the world but we all have a reason to be here.

6. Love. Love love love. Love no matter the pain, regret, heartbreak, problems. Love. Love everyone. Even if you dont like them. Love them. It's a powerful thing yall.

7. No matter what happens. Just keep swimming. You will get there an you are worth it.

I know there is people out there dealing with loss, depression, everything. I hope it reminds one of you to keep your head up. Its going to be okay.

Have a great day y'all. 💜💚💙❤