I guess I just need a place to vent cause I can’t take life anymore right now

...I’m a young ftm mom, almost 21 and I’m due in 7days. I’ve always struggled with severe anxiety and depression. (Tried medication, isn’t for me). Anyways, I’m struggling/failing in college, I’m no longer working and I have no money. My boyfriend (&father to my son) are together but honestly i just feel like a burden and like he doesn’t care about how I feel or what I’m going through. He said he would pay for the very few bills I have but I just wish I was able to support myself, and my son on my own if need be. I’ve never had a good home life and have always felt like I’ve truly never had a home and belonged somewhere. I stay and basically live with him at his parents house right now till he (we) move into his grandmothers house so we can also be there to help her out. I still just feel like I don’t belong and like I’m not good enough .. I don’t know what to do I don’t want to feel this way I don’t want to be depressed i should be happy.. I want to be happy for my son he shouldn’t have a mom that is depressed and hates herself. I feel so alone, I’m bawling my eyes out while typing this.. mean while my boyfriend is less than 2 feet away from me playing his xbox and doesn’t even know I’m crying... I feel like a failure to everyone, myself ... and already to my little boy.💔 sorry , just needed to vent