I’m struggling. I came from a 4 year long mentally abusive relationship. I’m having a hard time setting that relationship aside from my current relationship. The two guys are completely different in how they treat me. My current BF is so good to me. But it doesn’t ease my fears of being hurt again like I was with my ex.

One of my biggest things is this:

My man lives 4K Mile’s away, hopefully temporarily. We talk everyday on text and other social platforms. We call a couple times a week. We have a 15 month old daughter together. On the weekends he goes out all day and night. I hear from him a couple times in the day until he goes out at night at the bar or club. He always stays out until 3, 4, 5am sometimes 6. Then he ignores my texts. But I see he’s been active online so I know he saw my message. Is it wrong of me for allowing it to give me anxiety and feel somewhat hurt by this or do I have a right to be annoyed? I feel very childish to feel this way but I really can’t shake it. I’m 27 laawwdd... he’s 4 years younger. And aside from his partying on the weekends, he’s a fairly mature guy. Sometimes more than me and especially more-so than my 41 year old ex.

I have asked him before why he ignores me and he says he doesn’t know. Like wtf kind of answer is that but ok?? I ask if it because you’re talking to other girls or that maybe I am boring to speak to and he says no absolutely not. He is always chatting with his friends on their chat groups. They send probably a few hundred messages a day. I see it when we are together.

Should I be worried? Or is it literally just him trying to have his own time? Maybe I feel differently because I’m a woman and we are a bit more emotionally connected? I always want to be with him and talk to him and see him. It’s hard being away so much. I would never ignore his messages. So I guess I feel really hurt when he does it to me. But then again I have no one here where I live. I’m totally alone. No family really and no friends at ALL. So I’m pretty much lonely 24/7. He works full time, has hundreds of friends, is in a soccer league which practices twice a week and tournaments on Saturday’s.. he often is helping with one of the family businesses.. so I know he’s never bored like I am.

I think I need to hire a counselor or therapist to help me get through these fears I have..

What do you all think?