I feel like my relationship went from being about me and him and the kids to our marriage being about the kids and then me and him. I have a five year old from a previous relationship and he has full custody of his 9 and four year old. We were long distance in the beginning, and he moved in with me and my parents a month after we married since I was in my career managing two stores and he had been in between jobs since getting out of the military. He made the move so I wouldn’t have to give up even though I thought him and his kids were tired of moving around.

He was able to transfer stores so he was working the day after he moved in and less than two months later we were in a place of our own. (June). In July, we were talking about the benefits of me being a stay at home mom. My sister was wAtching the kids so we didn’t have to fork out a huge daycare expense, and I was struggling my boss making me promises for advancement that wasn’t being fulfilled and my bipolar mom still abusing me in front of the kids which was the final straw.

So I stay home with his (our) four year old while the older two are in school. Cook clean and the whole nine, and he works long hours and busts his ass so I can stay home. However I worked the same job for over four years so this was an adjustment. 1 kid to 3 and not working. Well we planned on getting pregnant with our first. We knew we wanted one together and I plan on going back to work eventually. I’m currently 9 weeks and the last week has been shit. We almost miscarried at 5 and a half weeks. His nine year old has his sarcastic attitude so she talks back thinking it’s funny when we’re not playing. The kids had a four day weekend and early release and I’m just exhausted. My five year old had surgery two weeks ago which he was there for but wasn’t in the hospital when I went because he stayed home with the kids and hasn’t been to any of my prenatal appointments, but says he’s going to the one March 8th. He undermines me constantly when I’m disciplining his four year old, but I allow him to discipline my 5 year old. When I tell her to do something she’ll just pause and look at him waiting for a reaction. So I’m at the point where I don’t know if we should be having a baby together if he doesn’t like what I do, even though I’ve taken his ideas and discipline the same because our two are a year apart.

When he gets home I’m just at the point where it’s not lovey dovey hugs and kisses as we should be. I feel like a fucking nanny clocking out for some relief, even though it’s not because he doesn’t tend to them the last two hours. He’s on his phone on social media or dozing off and wants to get them wound up the last thirty minutes before bed. Idk if I’m being rational or it’s the hormones, but I don’t want a second divorce with a second child with two baby daddies. 😭😭😭