My 16 month old daughter passed away suddenly this week. No warning, no clear indication of what happened (still waiting on test results) She went to sleep and never woke up.

She has a twin brother and a 2.5 year old brother. The older brother seems to be taking this in and following our lead. We are Christians so we believe that we will see her again and have told them that their sister went to live with Jesus and that He is taking care of her now.

Her twin is clearly distressed off and on. Looking everywhere for her and not eating well. He has never been without her and of course he can see how sad we are.

I don’t know why I needed to write this. I am no longer freaking out, just incredibly sad that this bright little light has been taken from our home and our arms so quickly after being given to us. I can only think that she was too good for this world, so she had to go before it soiled her innocence.

Even with two boys and my husband my arms feel so empty. My house so gray and hollow. I almost long for the end so I can see her bright eyes. But, for now I have two incredible sons and another beautiful daughter stirring in my belly. For them I will keep going, for them I will take all of the strength I can garner from the Lord and my close family and friends and rise to being the best parent I can be.

Now if only I could sleep a little, instead of listening to my boys breathing and begging God not to take them from me too.