When you grow up as the oldest sibling in a broken family you become a parent. It doesn't matter if you're if you're only 10. You pick up the slack. All of your younger siblings that once seemed annoying suddenly partially depend on you. You're all going through the same situation but all handling it very differently. Your mom never stops crying.. or drinking.. so you're all they have to cook for them, clean for them, do laundry for them, wake them up for school, read them stories. And eventually you become so accustomed to it that it's your new normal. But then you're all grown up. And everything keeps spiraling and everything is out of control and you're so used to being in control and being the only person to rely on.. and it's heartbreaking because there is no one to help you now. You've grown past what little your parents taught you before they stopped trying and now there is no one but you. And you can't even depend on you.