Advice anyone?

Tionya

Does anyone have cycles of depression. One moment you're great then next thing you know you have a breakdown and don't want to be here anymore. I feel numb like I have no feelings almost all of the time and thing of ways to end it. Last time I had a breakdown I caused self harm for the first time and it seems like it's becoming more frequent. I just don't know what to do anymore. I can fake it like I'm all good but im never ok... Any advice?