i’ve never been a happy person. ever since i could remember i jus felt sad and didn’t know why. even before middle school. found out a couple years later i had depression. doctor told me. (i knew it but i guess they just confirmed it) i started dating these boys (nothing serious) until i found my first love. he was my EVERYTHING. he ended up breaking my heart after 7 months of dating. and it took me 2 years to finally move on completely. that leads to my most recent ex. it wasn’t long at all, 2 months. but i fell for him HARD. met all his family, he met mine. i spent the night constantly at his house and he occasionally spent the night at mine. (when i wasn’t at his.) i guess you could say that we were basically w eachother every second of those 2 months. we didn’t go a day without seeing eachother. and we got into one fight. ONE fight, and the next day he broke up w me, he jus gave up. and he’s already w someone new and it’s only been a week since we broke up & i just feel completely lost. he made me believe i was different than all those other girls he dated. and that we would last a very very very long time. but he jus gave up and my heart is shattered, i thought i finally i found love & true happiness after my ex broke up w me. but i was wrong and now jus confused.

i guess moral of this story, i’ve never been happy, and my friend asked me “why do you always need to be w someone, have you always been like this?”

and i’ve never loved myself. i just want someone to give me the love i never give myself. and that’s how alone and broken i am.