Would you marry someone if your parents didn’t approve of him or think he’s not the right one for you?

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Accepted Answer

I would stop and think about the reasons they don’t like him but in the end it’s my decision.

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This is a good question and I can’t wait to see all the comments, you know how when your significant pisses you off and you make the mistake of telling your parents and eventually you get over what they did but they never do? 👀

Answer

This is going to be a long confession story. Brace yourselves sisters. My please and thank you (The Ron Swanson way).🤓
I am in a interracial relationship of almost 6 years and my family do not know about him. Not a clue. I am asian and, him - mixed race both 24yrs. My friends all know about him and my closest friend have met him (love him!). My 2 cousins have known since the beginning and I think they were secretly hoping we were going to break up. Not in any malicious way but more because they knew of the heartbreak to follow if our community and families were to find out. 
I always thought since the beginning that I don’t know where this is ultimately going to go but for now, I am happy and don’t see a reason to break up. Over the years, he supported me through my mental breakdowns, my low depressive episodes and failures in life. We both have very low maintenance personalities where we do not need constant stimulation from each other on a daily basis, we are both happy with a morning text or a day without any interaction at all especially if it is just a regular degular day. When we do see each other, we tell each other everything and are happy to just be in each other’s presence. We have grown up together. 
We have had many discussions about this and his answer remains unchanged when I ask about how he feels being a secret from my family and it’s “I am not dating your family, I am here to love you”. I feel so guilty because I have such a strong bond with his and he doesn’t get to have that with mine. I feel I have robbed every side. 
I come from a very conservative first gen immigrant asian family. They are really supportive with education and are willing to go any lengths to support me on that. BUT, I have tried to get the conversation started on “what would happen if I brought home a man from another country/ different race etc etc” and the replies from my mother and big bro “You are going to be cut off from the family, u are going to be thrown out” “you will bring shame and dishonour to our whole family” “We didn’t leave our country to slave away in the UK for better future for yours to do then this to us” or my fav, ‘your dad and grandparents are gonna turn in their grave’. Mind you, this is just from me mentioning light scenarios of “what ifs?”. I always end it with “I have boyfriends of every race and they do not know each other and, you cannot stop me!!” Or “Well my wife and gf are going to take care of me”. They snort or chuckle. 
Unlike my culture and from what I have seen for my friends, my mother always hugged me and kissed me and does till this day everyday even though I am grown now. She says I am her biggest supporter in the house and I listen well (I try my best). Her English is not great but she tries so very hard every day, watching eng videos on youtube, trying to watch the news and read health articles. It is all for us. She says so that she won’t need us to interpret for her when she goes to hospital appointments or help paying bills (she’s so sweet 😢). By doing this, she has learned more about mental health problems and how each one is different and not all just the common conservative asian assumption of “CRAZY.” I have not told her about my own but she has assured me I can. I just don’t want to. Because I don’t want to ADD to her burden already. 
What I am trying to say is..... reader, I love her with all my heart and do not wish to be apart from her and be an aid in her old age, not another cause of stress. 
I cherish every moment I have with my family because I know the day they find out will be like doomsday. Nothing will ever be the same again. Positives - no more lies and a huuuuuuge burden will be lifted. Negatives - relation with family broken and strained. I do not know where to go from there so anyone who has had any experience with this and their advice on how to get through it would be SUPER helpful. 
I just do not understand what is so wrong with just loving someone???????? 🥺😫Especially when they are so kind and supportive. With a degree and good job. Hella good looking and a freak in bed to boot! 
So to answer the question, most likely ‘Yes, I would marry someone who my family didn’t accept’.

Answer

Personally I would not.🤷🏾‍♀️ However, my parents are the type of people who loves and trusts everyone until you give them a reason not to trust you. So if my parents do not like a person, there is a pretty good reason because they do not dislike people for no reason. Luckily, my parents LOVE my husband. They absolutely adore him and his parents love me as well so no in-law issues over here!🙌🏾

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I did and it was a HUGE mistake. Mama knows best sometimes

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Well, my parents are assholes, so I wouldn't really care about nor trust their opinions.

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I meant to click yes.

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Luckily for me my mom is the only relevant family member I have in my life & she LOVES my fiancé but if she didn’t & was strongly against him I would evaluate the situation. Why does your family not like your partner? Have you included them in your relationship in the past & now they’re judging your partner off that? Can the issues between them be resolved overtime?

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Already have

Answer

Yes I  did and now they love him and I don't regret

Would you marry someone if your parents didn’t approve of him or think he’s not the right one for you?

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