My husbands ex wife makes $21 hourly, is engaged to a prison guard. my husband makes $26, and I recently lost my job due to taking care of my husband.

Up until year he had the kids 50%, if not more, but has faithfully paid child support. She advised him with 3 kids, he was getting a bargain at $1800 a month. He’s also paid all medical and insurance. Somehow, she’s had the state kids health on them too. He also has a child from before their marriage he has full custody of. Since getting married to me, he also has my child from my ex who lives with us full time. (I’ve always had soul custody)

My husband got injured last week at work, and is out 2 weeks. He’s not behind, he’s paid up. When he got hurt she immediately jumped to telling me, his wife, how he’d get a settlement. Red flag: because honestly, who thinks like that when someone’s seriously hurt.

The night of his surgery, literally four hours later, she starts asking if she’ll get her $1800 next month.

Today, she started up about money. Keep in mind he’s not late. She threatened to go through child support enforcement if he didn’t give her money Friday, or he’d not see his kids. How him out of work effects her and her fiancé getting their dream house. How she’s go through state. He said he’d go to court house to show he’s injured and can’t work so she can still show she’s meant to yet payment for house lender. He said he’d agree to go through state, to make it easier for her. Since the 1800 was agreed on well before he met me, something her lawyer set up.

She went freaking nuts. Threats. Talks of taking his settlement. (Which we haven’t even asked for) workers comp tax return back support. She then attacked him about being remarried, and comments about our kids here. How she’s not wanting to go through the state for their sake or it’d be bad for them. Wtf.

So please. Tell me. Does this add up to anyone else. We’re being threatened with all kinds of shit. I don’t understand.

**update

In 2017 the law changed in our state that it takes into consideration both parents income, combines it, and the payer gives the payee the difference between that amount . In this, we discovered he’s overpaid thousands a year. My main concern from all this is how the two who live with us are being threatened, how she is getting state assistance medically and for college, making $5 less than him, and threatening to keep the kids. This doesn’t seem right. She now contacted us to ask him to not go through state for our benefit..... because she doesn’t want to go through the “headache”

It’s worth noting he adopted her oldest and she has consistently told this child they don’t have to see my husband or listen to him because he’s not the biodad, and refuses to let my husband in on any medical stuff.. she claims this child has autism, but we’ve never seen any report, and she flat out refused to let me take him to doctors. We have been told to respect that my stepchild feels bad about them self for being adopted and awkward at our home, even though my husband has been Apart of their life since infancy and I adore them no differently.

We’ve had several calls from the middle child, an early grade schooler, stating their mom left.. and we’ve busted her for being an hour away multiple times leaving school age children home... alone.

What do we do?

She’s acting vicious, without mercy. We’ve never kept money from her. We’ve had the kids as much as possible, once for weeks straight. I regularly talk to her and once considered her a friend. We have no idea where this is coming from. Except the fact she now is saying she’ll get a percent if he gets a settlement (again we haven’t even asked for one) because, she “holds all the cards and can”

**update

She texted this wasn’t even about the child support, she doesn’t want it. (I’m serious) I got told she was tired of my bullshit and to fuck off, because I said this was truly sad and disappointing, and not good coparenting.. I gently stated I took my husbands phone for the night and this needed to stop tonight. Oh. My husband is apparently a huge moron and a total idiot. She also told him this can go the nasty route because of him, and when he said he wasn’t being nasty he’s seriously injured she replied “get over it, lol”... then texted again to see if we’d just pay half this month, then go from there. WTH.

Again nothing was said about NOT paying. She said she’d get child support enforcement if he didn’t have it al to her Friday, and he’s not see his kids. Then when he said he’d agree to go through state she spiraled and went 50 shades of crazy on us.

UPDATE!!!!

Well we woke up to her demanding the house we just bought address. When I said no, we haven’t got keys yet, and we’re living in it rental still.. she piped back that she needed it or else she wasn’t letting us see kids. She also said come Friday she was getting my husbands checks garnished. I advised her per law, she is breaking a legal agreement about visitation, and that due to my husband being current she can’t touch him via garnishment. She had a cow. I’m being blamed now. She again said “no money, no kids”.. which is horrid. She told us she got an attorney and court fees, and to not speak to her.. then shortly contacted me to say had I not got In The middle it wouldn’t have gotten this far. Again, she contacted me. Then after I said enough and to stop, kept going. She brought up that she’s changing visitation and I replied that a change in visitation means a change in support, and she can easily go online to see those numbers, because I’m fairly sure she won’t like them, and to leave me alone or I’d contact someone for harassment.

So she contacted my husband and tried to manipulate him. “We’ve done this 7 years no problem and then you had to get your wife involved” my husband replied she needed to leave me alone and she then again blamed me, and he stood up for me again and told her she contacted me and I kept asking her to stop. She’s delusional. So I guess she crunched the numbers, because he got a text saying if you wanted the amount lowered they could have outside of court she wasn’t “being an asshole”

Whatever.

We crunched the numbers. Get ready for it, he’s paying almost double what he has been meant to per the law change.

We got an attorney, and contacted the police in her town to explain what is going on.

I’m shocked at how she’s used her children as pawns and the tens of thousands she’s conned my sweet hubby out of.

I have long told her never to include me in on their bickerments, for this reason.

My husband is tickled pink right now, as he has struggled financially for 7 years due to her - she left him in thousands of debt he had to file bankruptcy for when he left her.

UPDATE 2

She is continuing to contact us. Despite no response. We won’t be getting the kids until court. Because well, she refuses and is spewing hateful messages about money. This absolutely is NOT about the kids. We met with an attorney, and he resounded a lot of what the comments are saying.

UPDATE 3

She is now spinning this that she just wanted our new address and we won’t give it. Which A. Sunday and Monday’s texts show her demanding money or no kids so okay, she tried. B. We told her when we physically get keys to house she can have address, but we legally haven’t signed papers. C. We have put together she’s having the kids ask us questions. D. She FINALLY admitted what I LONG suspected. Their eldest is NOT diagnosed with autism. She has had this child convinced, the two others convinced, my husband convinced, and her family this WHOLE time. (I grew up around autistic children, from high functioning to low- and I’ve long said I do NOT believe they are autistic. As well as the fact the child is on the EXACT same meds as my child for ADHD!!!) She has been treating this child for years and telling EVERYONE about her child being autistic!!!!