Ive been on birth control since I was 13. I got it for extremely terrible periods. So bad id have to wear a diaper, a pad, and a tampon all at once. Im 18 now. I just got my implant removed because it made me gain weight. I tried the nuva ring and it was awful, I have a really tight vag so getting it in was a workout and it even got stuck to the point my fiance had to pull it out. Im back on the pill now. But it makes me nauseous everytime i eat anything. IUDs arent an option, neither are the shot or the patch (weigh too much for the patch). I honestly have no idea who I am without birth control. It seems like everything makes me sick. I want to tie my tubes so bad, but no one will do it for me. Ive never wanted children, ever. I hate kids, I have no patience for them and I would never want any child to inherit all of my mental illness/ health problems. I really want to just do condoms as birth control but I have anxiety about pregnancy even while on the pill AND using condoms. Honestly idk what to do. My fiance wants to get his tubes tied but he works under my dad and 1- he could never get a day off to do it. 2- my family wouldnt let us. My mom would basically tell me im selfish for making him go through the pain of getting his tubes tied, and stupid because the less he works the less money we have and he could get laid off at anytime. Idk, im hitting a wall. Im super depressed.