We don't really talk anymore.

We have been together for 10 years married for 5. We have a two year old together.

We dont talk. He only talks about guns and nothing else. I cant stand hearing about any guns or anything anymore. Mostly because my husband buys them and hides them from me when we are struggling to pay the bills. I was just put on short term disabilty at my job ( still pending any payment , i take care of finances) and my husband somehow came up with 1,100$ to buy two guns. I found the receipt in his wallet. I also told him the amount we are behind on with me pulling short term disabilty.

I have not confronted him about the receipt yet.

We are just growing apart. I have mental illness and he always makes snide comments about other peoples mental illnesses. Anytime i comment on it he says you know i don't mean it about you. Like wtf man.

We havent had sex in weeks , the thought of it just no. I feel like I am just done. I cant deal with his secrets, his lying. Honestly I dont even know if I am happy anymore. It's just frustating that I am 13 hours away from my family. I even mentioned driving down to see my family with our son while i await my shoulder surgery ( a month from now) and my husband was all telling me he'll take time off work etc. And i just need some time away to think about everything.

I really don't know why I am writing this. I am just at a loss.