“She has it all together”

Today I went to the dealership where I got my vehicles to make a payment. The service desk lady was training a new person and was telling her what a great customer I am and how I have lots of children. And then she said, “AND she has it all together.” And right then and there I felt the tears well up in my eyes. It meant so much to me for a stranger to tell someone else that I’m the lady that has it all together. You see, most days I feel like the whole world is caving in around me. I have panic attacks a lot. But I never let them show. I’ve learned to hyperventilate and feel like I’m having a heart attack with a smile plastered across my face and a perfectly calm demeanor. Only in front of my fiancé do I break down sobbing, shaking, complaining of what a terrible mother I am and how the kids are so unfortunate to have me. You see, I’m 30 weeks pregnant with my second child and I have 3 stepchildren and everyday the only thing that pulls me through is knowing that I’m another day closer to being able to take a shot of tequila again. 🤷🏽‍♀️❤️