I’m so frustrated right now. I’m American but living in The Netherlands. So far, pregnancy has been a joy. Seeing midwives instead of doctors has been amazing. They have been so affirming and empowering, and it has been such a refreshing experience to be told how healthy I am by a healthcare provider, rather than being picked on for my BMI.

But yesterday at our 34 week growth scan, they found that my baby’s belly circumference is much larger than average. Keep in mind, average means the national average of the Netherlands, a small country with a pretty homogeneous population. As he is growing now, he is projected to be born around 4 kilos (8.8 lbs), which is about what I weighed at birth. I’m 6 feet tall and about 110 kilos pre-pregnancy. I don’t have gestational diabetes, my iron and blood pressure are good, and everything else about the baby seems fine. But they are making me go to a hospital for a second opinion, and if the doctor says he’s too big, the rest of my pregnancy and birth will be considered “medical” and I won’t be allowed to see midwives anymore. I won’t get the option of having a natural birth, just because my baby’s size doesn’t match their national average.

It’s so frustrating because I feel like this baby is already being judged for his size and he’s not even born yet! I can’t protect him from this and it’s making me feel hopeless. Even in a place where I felt so good about the process, it always comes back to size.

Anyway, just needed to vent about that. Any advice?