To this day I still have nightmares. Nightmares of my father busting down a door and making us watch as he beat our mother. Nightmares from when he get so angry that I thought we all were going to die. Every time in the car praying that he wouldn’t lose his mind and decide to end it with all of us in the car. Living everyday in fear of what could happen. At this time I’m only a child and the only thing I could’ve done was run away.

When my mom finally decided to put her foot down and divorce him I was very happy. Having to see domestic violence scarred me pretty bad. In school they had me talk to a counselor for trying to kill my self then I had another counselor outside of school. It took years for my mom to realize how much it affected me because she assumed it didn’t. Please don’t assume kids are fine. Domestic violence affects them too. People over look kids because they don’t think anything of it. Trust me it can cause an impact on them. Listen to your kids when they tell you what’s wrong. If someone’s touching them inappropriately, listen. If someone is hurting them or anything, listen. Even them seeing you going through domestic violence just listen to how they feel.

Please also don’t assume that it is easy to leave an abuser. Some people who are in very violent situations have to go into hiding. The violence can get as bad as the person getting killed. So saying just leave is not always the case. They literally have to plan leaving to waiting until the person is at work or gone somewhere. Some even have to find jobs if they are living off that person’s income. Remember that an abuser doesn’t just start in the beginning stages of the relationship. It starts progressing as soon as the first incident happens.

For those going through domestic violence please seek help. Keep records of everything. It will help you when you file for divorce especially if you have kids.

Thanks for reading