TRIGGER WARNING‼️

My big sister told me a few days ago that her postpartum depression is back. I immediately told her I would be there for her and go to counseling and help with her son if she needs it.

Yesterday she tried to commit suicide. She had told me this through text after I got off from work. I was irritated and mad because I’m like I’m here for you and I’m trying to be supportive but you’re not opening up to me or anything.

My life is chaotic right now because I’m in debt because of her and her baby daddy. She got whatever she wanted and I’m always stuck with the short end of the stick. I feel horrible for feeling this way towards her and it literally hurts because she going through a rough patch in her life and I have no reason to be mad. I’m trying to help in everything but I don’t know what else to do.

I’m angry because I didn’t understand how it came back when literally everyone in her life has helped her and she’s always had things handed to her. I, on the other hand, had to bust my butt to get what I wanted. Nobody ever helped me. I was the one that was always there to clean up the mess. I had to grow up fast because life dealt me different cards and I feel like screaming and punching things and just hurting myself.

Why all of a sudden do I feel like this? Why am I so angry? Why at a time like this?