I’ve been struggling extremely bad after my employer moved to a different country without telling/warning me before hand (I’m a nanny). I’ve been looking relentlessly for a new job.

I haven’t been able to find anything and it’s been bringing me down, my depression is at its worst and I have been “depression free” (as in it’s been under control) for 4 years. I started having some suicidal thoughts and yesterday I broke down thought “enough is enough” and signed myself up for government assistance.

I went from having a decent income from my job to having -50 dollars in my bank account and -1900 on my credit card.

I’ve been using my credit card to pay my rent and phone bill so I’m not on the streets and have a number.

It’s relived me of the stress of “I will be completely homeless” but added the stress of “I am fully broke”.

Applying for government assistance definitely isn’t solving my depression or major problem but it did help a little bit.

I at least now know I will have enough to cover my rent this month which is all inclusive so I will have $10 left to spare.

$10 stretched the right way can last me.

I have not eaten properly in a little over a month just the few unexpired things I have left in the fridge (mostly cheese slices, and olives). I haven’t been able to get to the food bank because I don’t own a car, there isn’t one nearby and the weather has been way too insane to haul a box of food on 1+ hour(s) bus trips.

I was just about to eat another slice of cheese when I remembered I had gotten an Uber eats gift card for Christmas which I never used!

I can’t even explain how grateful I am feeling. I am able to pay my rent this month, AND I can have a proper meal today.

I know it’s not anything majorly special but it’s definitely something!

So I am honestly so excited to feel full for the first time in so long! I’m shaking and felt like I needed to share about it.

For obvious reasons I’m really embarrassed about the way I’m currently living, too embarrassed about it to share this small accomplishment with people in my personal life so I thought I’d share about it here where I can stay anonymous!😁.