Hey ladies, I need to vent about something. So about a year ago in August, I had snuck out with one of my guy friends. We went to his place and the whole reason I was there was to just to hang out. I haven't had much of a teenage life.. so I just wanted to know what it felt like. Anyway.. we went to hos place and chilled in his room. I was sitting a few feet away from him. He kept trying to get me to cuddle with him and I kept telling him no. So then he took my arm and drug me beside him. I gave in. Then he kept moving my leg across his waist. I kept trying to move it but he would just move it back. And then he kissed my cheek. I was trying to watch the show he had put on so when he did that, I looked at him. Then he full on kissed me.. and I kept telling him it can't go farther. But then he kept pushing for it and I eventually gave in. I thought even though I was pressured into it.. I consented to it. Well, I was talking with my boyfriend about a week ago. I had told him about that night and who it was with. He was silent for a moment before telling me that he had been close with my ex guy friend. Apparently Nick, the guy, had told my bf a few days after that night that he had raped a girl and that he felt bad. When my boyfriend told me the date, I knew it was me. I started crying.. because that meant he knowingly raped me. But I blame myself because I went to his house alone. I thought I had consented even being pressured and now I sorta hate myself for it. Do I have a reason to give myself the blame? My boyfriend says I don't but I think I do.