I’m 23 weeks and 5 days. I’ve been stressing the whole entire pregnancy. The man I’m pregnant by has 3 kids and 2 different mothers for the children. I’m the 3rd. The only way to describe this whole experience is madness. There’s been every negative thing imaginable to come to pass. I’ve been blind from all the red flags. I have 1 son already age 5. His father is married and not in his life. Due to my ignorance he’s been put through just as much as me. I’ve been abused in all ways. While pregnant. I’ve been depressed, and full of anxiety. Fear at times even. I’m stuck in an unhealthy cycle because I keep letting him back in. It’s past the illusion of love. Love is fleeting. I won’t make this post too long. I’m just in a place full of regret and stupidity. How have I come to accept things I once told myself I never would? How am I back in a place I never wanted to be in? I can only blame myself so I do. To the point where I’m ready to give up this baby. I can’t do it.