Is it cheating when you are married but separate *updated*

Traci

My husband slept with our neighbor, a few times while we were separated ,he wasn’t home and his stuff was gone at that point.he says it meant nothing ,we separated because my aunt lied about me cheating so he would leave because she didn’t think he treated me right ... I never did I worked 12 hour shifts and sometimes longer but that was the only reason but he didn’t see me a lot or our schedules didn’t match,obviously you become distant your exhausted but I would never do that .but it was a messy separation, he slept with her I didn’t know at the time but our chemistry came back and I missed him very badly, I love him and didn’t do anything wrong but he believed someone over me and didn’t ask, when I found out he had left home , i was hurt we since hen got back together and are expecting our third child he cried and is very doubting and works hard. We are better than ever and happy with each other I don’t doubt him at all trust me I made his life hell made him share his location and checked his phone but he earned my trust back after 2 years , but I can’t shake it off this was a while ago and he apologized and did everything to make it up and I now he did it because he was hurt but he should have asked me first instead of leaving like that and fucking the neighbor out of spite.i reacted wrong ,when he left I told him he had already left it was his choice and didn’t beg him , so In his mind I was cheating and didn’t care he left .I’m just prideful he was gone what was the point but I never closed the door I just said he didn’t seem happy because we fought a lot it took him 8 months after we got back together to admit because he was afraid I would have left him if I found out. I told him I probably would have . Point being how can I shake this hurt does it ever go away?