My little one was due March 2nd but she decided to join us a full month early on Feb 1st. The NICU pediatricians and our main pediatrician told us to limit the people she is around for the first 2-3 months because she is at higher risk of infection if she gets sick.

I’ve had my issues with my MIL in the past, but since my husband and I have been more vocal and firm about our wants, things with my in laws have been really good.

The issue is my brother-in-law butts into everything that is meant to be between my family and my MIL or FIL. We have decided to allow grandparents to be around our preemie daughter but strictly no one else (except me, hubby and son). My BIL and his wife demand that they be allowed to as well.

This happens with almost everything we do. If we ask my MIL if she’d like to join us at the zoo, somehow he hears about it and demands he and his wife be invited to join. If we want to get lunch with my FIL, my BIL demands and literally throws a fit (no joke) that he and his wife were not invited.

I’m so confused and annoyed. My husband and I don’t want to do anything with our parents because we are afraid BIL is going to make a big deal out of it. I feel like he’s ruining our relationship with parents. It’s also ruining the relationship my children have with their grandparents.

We’ve tried talking to him several times but whatever we say either falls on deaf ears or BIL will take it the wrong way and say we are being mean and excluding him and his wife. I’m perplexed because I feel like we should be able to have a relationship with another person without him involved.

Personally, I think my BIL and his wife are trying to sabotage the relationship my children have with their grandparents. He has made it clear that he and his wife are TTC.

What do you think is really going on here? What else should I say to my BIL, MIL and FIL?