Please stop breaking my heart. Please stop pulling me and my precious boys around. I don’t like being used or walked over. I don’t like being the one in between people I love and care about too much that I literally lose my mind trying to keep peace protecting you both from one another and others who dare say bad or hurt you. Mostly I miss my boys, my little nuggets and beans. I miss their faces and their sticky fingers and messy crazy hair. I miss their stories and off the wall things only children can come up with. I miss their crazy answers to all the questions I ask, crazy question or normal questions. I miss their musical laughter and beautiful smiles and giggles. I miss their little hands holding mine because I stuck mine out or simply because they wanted to. I miss them asking to come over and visit for the day or ask to spend the night. I miss staying up with them watching Disney Junior, nick junior or what ever children’s show or movie I could find for them. I miss the snuggles and holding them falling asleep. I fear I may never see them again and will never get to say I love you ever again. I fear I’ll never get another hug or tackle or dog pile. I fear I will never get to hear the chorus of “Auntyyy!!” Ever again. The worst part is I am always going to think it is my fault. I am always going to believe I had done something and nothing will change that. I am always going to think I am the bad guy.

Sincerely the aunt who only wants to see her nephews again.