Cheating, feelings coming back.

Okay y’all... I’ll try to make this short, my current fiancé and I got together about 5 years ago and we were young (14) and he had just got out of a relationship. The beginning of our relationship, she was texting him every day trying to get back with him. Then, she apparently moved on by getting together with his cousin who also happened to be his “best friend” so she was at every family event, even was staying the night with them. It always made me so uncomfortable.. then, when we were 15 they skipped school together (my boyfriend and her) and she gave him head. HE CHEATED WITH HIS EX AND COUSINS CURRENT GF! We broke up till we were like 16 and we’ve stayed together since. anyways, those two broke up and I was able to finally feel happy. They’ve been broken up for 3 years and things have been great between me and my man. We moved in together, we got engaged, trust was back and we are growing together etc.. well now, guess who got back together?! His ex and his cousin!! She’s all over the families social media, all the family events. I have this anxiety and overthinking again. I’ve been like almost “stalking” her social media and I honestly don’t even know why. What should I do? I know all that was 5 years ago and why should I care now that we’re In our 20s and there’s been no lying or cheating but I just feel broken and always on edge and always comparing myself to her. Please give me advice..

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Je

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I struggle with a very similar situation, it was almost 10 years ago in HS and we even broke up for 5 years over it and somehow fate brought us back together and we’ve been married two years and have had such a great relationship for the past 5 total. Ever since becoming pregnant with our first a few months ago, all of those feelings came rushing back. I have no idea why and I can’t get it to stop. I was 100% over it for a century!!! Lol. Unfortunately I can’t give you a good peptalk about getting over it, because I know it’s not that easy. Scars don’t just disappear, and everyone keeps saying time heals but it doesn’t always. My biggest thing is constantly remembering that I trust him, and that I have no fears about our relationship and where we are today. I also expect us to be very open about everything, including “her”. We also have to remember that they were in high school, horny little teenagers. It’s very unfortunate that the family keeps accepting that trash into their homes, it’s not fair to your relationship. I personally would just not go around family events that she is allowed to be around, as that is not right to put y’all in that situation of reopening scars. I understand that people that haven’t been through it would say to just get over it, but I say F that - if she makes you uncomfortable to be around, y’all do not need to be around her.