*****UPDATE:

i left him and told him that until he’s able to be a man and we’re able to come to a common ground, we can’t be together.

****UPDATE: so i guess he “talked to her” and she said we should do the hotel thing for our anniversary because we’re not married and what would Jesus do and that she raised him to be the best he could be but he has to look in the mirror and say “is this the right thing to do” and then she asked why we wanna go to a hotel so bad and what is that benefiting us 🙄 like i wanna go because it’s MY anniversary and i didn’t spend all this time just to go out to eat and come back home on my anniversary. hopefully the talk works or whatever. y’all think it will

my boyfriend who is 21 (i’m 20) lives with his mom who takes all of his money basically then turns around and says he should save for an apartment. well he tried but lately he’s not succeeding because he’s having car problems and of course his mom and other basic needs and some shit he doesn’t actually need (fucking car parts). their lease is up in august but i think he’s gonna end up living with his mom again. that wouldn’t be such an issue if she wasn’t so deep in our relationship. here are some VALID examples:

-we tried to go to a hotel once to hang out and go to the zoo and stuff but couldn’t cause she said no

-he spent the night at my house and went to church w us the next day and she almost kicked him out for that

-when he went to church with us, she got mad and said “the man doesn’t follow the woman, the woman follows the man.” and she said he couldn’t go to my church anymore as if i was tryna get him to freaking join my church!! wtfff

-i cant go to his house unless she’s there (i don’t even go over that bitch no more)

-she makes us leave the door open if i do go over there

-we were having sex and she was listening so she decided to knock on the door talking about she wanted to give me a gift FOR THE THIRD FUCKING TIME

-because she caught us having sex, she made him apologize for “disrespecting me” by having sex w me before marriage because “i’m a gift from God” (which i am but u know lmao) (i shut this dumb ass apology down)

-she tried making him apologize to my mom for having sex with me for some reason even though it wasn’t at my house (i shut that shit the fuck down too cause that was dumb asf)

-she sat us down to talk about why we shouldn’t have sex before marriage because it’s a sin and that’s a piece of us that we can’t take back (as if i’m not 20 years old and don’t know right from wrong)

-he has a mutherfuckin curfew

-our anniversary is next month so i wanted to get a hotel and even said i’d pay for it and everything i said to make it work, he shut it down then later finally admitted it’s because of his mom

-i asked him to sit her down and explain that we’re adults now and should be able to do adult things, but he wouldn’t because he felt “it wouldn’t change her mind since it hasn’t before.”

-she’s controlling asf. she even tried to control me (if u wanna hear that story, just ask. it’s not long)

point is that i hate her. that’s it. she’s wayyyy too deep in our relationship and he’s scared to step up IN A RESPECTFUL WAY (i’m not asking him to cuss his own mom out tf) and tell her to basically chill out. the fact that he’s so scared to step up and say something has kind of made me resent him a little bit because this is really taking a toll on me, ya know? i fear that when it comes time to move, he’s still gonna live with her. not because he can’t save (because he can. i’ve seen him to it for a car and plenty of damn car parts), but because he’s content where he is and that’s just not gonna work for me. i cant say anything to her because i’m not sure that’s my place but he’s definitely not going to. idk wtf to do man. i’ve been waiting to see if things will improve after he moves but it looks like that’s not happening.

what would y’all do? pls help me.. 😞