So I’ve gone through a lot these past 6 years of my life. I’ve gone through anorexia, anxiety and I’m now possibly starting to develop depression. At age 10, my gymnastics coach who I really thought I trusted, was starting to verbally and mentally abuse some girls she coached. Unfortunately, she did a lot of that to me more than anyone else. I was self doubting a lot and I wasn’t eating a whole lot. At age 12, the doctor saw an obvious change in my health and I was about 90 lbs. I wasn’t eating enough meats and protein, he described it as my muscles were eating themselves cause I didn’t have enough iron or something like that. Not only was I losing weight, the coach kept saying these horrible things and that eventually led to anxiety at age 13/14. But then, she decided to leave our gym and start her own gym, and invited only certain people she liked to join that new gym. Obviously I was not one of them. I stayed at my current gym without her and a new head coach came into her position. It was nice to not have her there anymore, but after the previous years of self doubt I was still in pretty bad shape. The next season came by and I was doing a bit better without her negativity in the gym and a new coach came to help out. She is super nice and always makes us laugh when we are upset. On my birthday, (February 6th) a boy that I rly liked asked me to be his girlfriend, I said yes and we dated which made me happy. The week after I turned 15, I went to the doctor and they said I still have anemia but I finally hit a little over 100 lbs (102.5) . That made me so happy to know I was getting a little better. Things were looking really well for me! Unfortunately in late October, my boyfriend was being...a bit off and not so nice. He would say stuff about me and we just had these arguments out of no where. In early November it got a lot worse. He would say these things like “ur not good enough” “the only reason why I’m dating you is bc of ur body” etc. Then on November 16th, I found out he was cheating on me with another girl and I broke up with him. It hurt so bad to find out that he was with another person. I couldn’t trust anyone anymore and I was starting to lose all contact with the people I have online. Fortunately, my one friend started noticing my changes in behavior and drove to my house (she’s older than me, 20). She asked if we could have a little hang out and just drive around, i was hesitant but I said yeah. I talked to her about what happened and I just start bawling in her car. She kept saying everything was gonna be okay. In January, I did something I was going to regret for the rest of my life. I lightly cut my arm with a pair of sharp tweezers I have in my washroom. Fortunately I wasn’t bleeding heavily but I just started crying after I realized what I have done. I kept it to myself and I didn’t tell anyone about it. Then my birthday came around and I was turning 16. Obviously I was happy cause I’m like I’m finally 16, but I was so depressed cause it was gonna be my one year with my ex. My friend wanted to go out for my bday cause she knew I was gonna be upset (so she like kinda forced me so she can watch after me) so that’s what I did. We were in the car and as she was driving she grabbed my arm lightly and shook it as she was talking to me...where I cut it. And I winced at that cause it still kinda hurt. She saw that I winced and she asked if I was okay. I said yeah cause I didn’t want her to know. But as she parked her car and before I got out, she grabbed my hand and pulled up my sleeve. Sure enough, she saw the scars from where I cut. She looked at me and I just start bawling. I didn’t want her to know that I did that. She just gave me the longest hug in the world and we cried together in her car. After about like 10 minutes, she told me that I should’ve talked to her about this. After about a week, I decided it was best if I told my mom about seeing a therapist. She said she had a feeling that I would need to go see one soon and she said yes. I started getting a little better and I wasn’t cutting! It’s now march and I decided today I should weigh myself cause I haven’t done it in a long time. So I stepped on the scale and I saw I gained 3 more pounds. It made me a bit happy to know that I’m finally getting better. I still have my anxiety, I still have depression and I still don’t eat as regular as I did, but I’m finally seeing a light in my future. If it wasn’t for my friend, idk where I would be right now. This is kinda of an appreciation post/ I need to tell someone about my recovery cause I wanted to tell someone about it. I’m so glad I have my friend by my side and I’m rly proud of myself for trying my very best to get better. I may not be 100% yet but I’m at 30%, and that’s better than 0.

If you read this far, thank you so much😌💞